Don't Come to My Church.

I was at the doctor’s office yesterday and the topic of church came up.  The doctor was telling me he had left a church because the former pastor retired and the new pastor didn’t fit his preferences.  He said he just didn’t feel comfortable there any more and then said (and I quote) “…and being comfortable at church is the most important thing.”  Not “an important” or “somewhat important” but “THE most important thing”.  Comfort. 

As I drove home I thought of the dozens of conversations I’ve had over the years with people that I talked out of coming to our church.  You won’t find this tactic in the church growth books but it’s one I use pretty regularly.  Of course, I’m as interested as any pastor in filling the seats in our auditorium on Sundays.  However, there are some people that I really don’t want to come to our church.

Not too long ago I met a guy at Starbucks that had emailed me to discuss attending.  The conversation started with him telling me about his family’s commitment to faith and how important church was to them. Despite his love for the local church he was only able to cite examples of how the last few churches they attended had not met his expectations.  He littered the stories with obligatory Christian-ese but made it clear that he had been let down.  He went on to interview me about the programs and features our church had to offer.  I stopped him about five minutes into this part of the conversation and told him he probably shouldn’t come to our church.  He chuckled for a second thinking I was joking and then realized I was serious.  I told him that, as a mature follower of Christ, given his expectations to be served (rather than serve) he would not like our church.  I guaranteed him I would be the next pastor that disappointed him.  I encouraged him to skip us as the next bad example and move on to some other church.  The conversation got awkwardly short at that point and, no surprise, he and his family never came.  I don’t believe my rejection put his salvation at risk, but I do believe it saved both of us some heartache. 

I would lie to say these conversations do not bother me.  We (the church) created these problems and now we face the consequence.  When we build organizations built on the idols of comfort and convenience, we can’t be surprised that is what comes to be expected. 

This is not, yet another, blog bashing the mega church or the seeker/attraction model of evangelism.  The truth is, only 10% of Christians go to these types of churches.  And of the two examples I mentioned, neither attended large churches.  This problem is bigger than a church or a model. 

I don’t have an answer. There were times, early on, when I did promote our church to comfort seekers, but it always ended with them leaving.  The examples usually cited their schedule, or their children’s preferences or the convenience of another church.  No one ever said I was the problem.  Not because I wasn’t, but because I’m too much of a coward to ask and they were too polite to say so.  

I think the issue comes down to what we believe the role of the church is and the emphasis we place on certain pieces.  I describe the Church's role using the acronym HASA:

Hospital – The church is a place for healing and broken people.  Those attending and those outside her walls.

Army – The church has a mission to take the Gospel (in word and deed) to all the world and our neighborhood.

School – The church teaches us how to be more like Jesus by following his Spirit.  Discipleship.

Altar – The church regularly asks me to lay down my idols and live a life of sacrifice. 

It’s the Altar piece that becomes so much a problem for us today.  We are so far removed from the persecution and marginalization that the Church has suffered throughout her history that we can’t help but be comfortable.  The problem is that becoming more like Jesus is largely about sacrifice and giving up.  There is abundance, there is joy, there is purpose and peace, but it starts, and lives on, surrender. 

If you don’t know Jesus.  If your life is a mess.  If you’re addicted and poor.  If you’re broken and lonely.  You are always welcome at our church and we have an solution for all these things.  If you’re a follower of Jesus that wants to know what it means to live a life on purpose, serving, growing, connecting, giving, sacrificing you’ll find a home. Our church isn't great but it is pretty good. If you’re a follower of Jesus and you want your church to make you comfortable we’ll probably let you down so you’d be better not to come.